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News

Love and Grief

February 3, 2023

Dear Siblings in Christ,

It is February. What comes to mind when you think about the second month of the year? There’s the Valentine’s holiday, a big day for romance, florists and chocolate sales. For those of you in the public sector President’s Day is a welcome three day weekend. February is also Black History month. And this year the season of Lent starts with Ash Wednesday on the 22nd. For the shortest month on the calendar there sure is a lot going on.

Those are all things that are worthy of celebration or things to look forward to. February also has a number of significant dates that make this month a mix of celebration and lingering grief for me. My son was born in February and I have been blessed with an amazing son for what will be 26 years. But, it is the first week of the month that brings to memory two of the most difficult days of the year. The 8th marks the 9th anniversary of my first wife, Tracy’s death and the 5th marks the 4th anniversary of my Mother’s death. The 5th also happens to be Tracy’s birthday.

Those of you who have experienced the death of a family member know what those anniversary dates are like. They loom large and serve as reminders of the most difficult days of your life. And over the course of the first couple years of those anniversary dates the feelings of grief were very much a gut punch. The feelings of grief have not gone away, they never will, but they do become more normalized as the years pass and thus less debilitating. At least they did for me.

Why am I sharing these most personal of memories and feelings? That is a good question. Well, I suppose it is because February is the month we celebrate love on the 14th. Yes, I know, it is a holiday that traditionally celebrates romantic love, but that seems to be a bit limited for me. Shouldn’t there be a day we celebrate all expressions of love? Couldn’t that be true for Valentine’s Day? At least for the sake of this article I think it can and should. After all love is the most powerful force in the world. Some have said love is what makes the world go round. I tend to agree with that.

One of the things I have experienced with grief is that in time as the deep, deep sadness wanes gratitude for love, even love that has been lost, grows and grows. Love and grief are inseparable, so that does make some sense to me. Grief would not be so painful if love were not so meaningful. My Mother told me that years ago. She was very smart, one of the many things I loved about her. I miss my Mother and Tracy each and every day, but I would never chose to love less to avoid grief.

Love is a gift from God. I believe that is what makes it the most powerful force in the world and the greatest gift God has ever given us. Love is also limitless. God has given us the capacity to fully love without limit. Imagine if we only had so much love to give and we had to divide amongst a spouse, children, parents, siblings, family and friends. I cannot imagine that when I consider how many people that I love and who love me. Talk about counting one’s blessings!

As eternally grateful I am for the relationships I have and have had, I am most grateful for the love of God. Human love is imperfect and is somewhat conditional. God’s love is perfect and unconditional. It is truly selfless and demands nothing in return. God knows my every thought, everything I’ve ever done, my failures and imperfections and none of it matters or changes God’s love for me. That is something I celebrate and rejoice in every day of my life. I will remember those I loved on the on the 5th, the 8th, the one I love now on the 14th, and my son on the 23rd and thank God for making it possible.

Yours in Christ,Pastor Steve 

Blessed, Every Day

January 3, 2023

Happy New Year Grace Family,

We have flipped the last page on our 2022 calendars, and as we do that some will reflect on the previous 12 months. I know I did. And as Lindi and I open Christmas cards sent by family and friends many of those envelopes contain recap letters of the year that was, proof that I am not alone in my reflecting. We love to hear about the good things, the ‘blessings’, our friends and families experienced during the year and empathize with those whose year included some dark moments. It would be great if all we ever read about were the blessings!

But that, unfortunately is not a realistic expectation for life. For any of us. The trails are a byproduct of a broken world occupied by sinful people. Bad stuff will happen, and we will all face various trials each and every year. As a result we tend to judge, or assess our year as a good year, or a bad year based on the seriousness of the trail or the frequency of the various trials we experienced. The scale of ‘good year’ or ‘bad year’ tip one way or the other for each of us. How would you say the scale tipped in 2022 for you?

I often hear from folks who had a particularly tough year, “I hope this next year is better than last year.” A very natural hope, right? From those whose year was considered ‘good’ the thought is, “I hope this next year is as good as last year!” A very natural desire. Once we get to the end of the year we often assess, take a deep breath and try to put the year behind us and gear up for a new year. A new year can often feel like a fresh start, even some excitement for what life has in store for us over the next 12 months. Unlike reflecting on the previous year, this is something I really do not do anymore.

There are a variety of reasons for this perspective. The main reason is I have learned that I do not have any control over most of the future events in my life, obviously. It probably took me longer to figure this out that it should have. So, there is no point in trying to predict the future. What comes will come for the most part. Worry or anxiety really does not do me any good and keeps me from being present in the moment and it will not change the future.

In years past I did much more compartmentalizing at the end of each year. Once the year was over putting it all in the past and closing the book on the year that was. Then opening up the new book ready to fill the pages with hopes and dreams for the next 12 months. It was, in a way, a coping mechanism to help me deal with life’s challenges and to give me a sense of control, a false sense, but a sense, nonetheless. What I lacked and what led to this dynamic was my faith was not super functional, at least compared to the depth of my faith as it functions now.

I have spoken often of that point in my life when my faith blossomed many years ago at a Cursillo retreat and my relationship with God changed like a light switch being flipped. Life prior to that was mostly filled with negative thoughts and perspectives as I let the trials we all face dictate my attitude and perspective. What I failed to realize was, or understand was I was truly blessed, every day, all the time, because I did not have the kind of relationship with God that I have today. Now, because I have been far more intentional about building that relationship since that fateful retreat I know and believe that God loves me and is always with me in good times and bad times and everything in between. That is the greatest good that exists in this often times, challenging life. The scales did not suddenly tip more in favor of the good things. Metaphorically I placed on the good side of the scale the infinite weight of grace so that nothing that gets placed on the bad side can ever tip the scales over to the bad side.

The hope, peace, joy, and love that coincide with the four weeks of Advent are not just churchy words devoid of purpose. They are promises given by Jesus and the fruit of grace available to all who have faith. I spent many years of my life unaware of the blessing that a life of grace provides. Those years would have probably been judged as not so great by me and I never really expected anything to change just because December came to an end.

When I began embracing and living a life of grace I stopped compartmentalizing my life I stopped putting life in the good or bad box based on circumstances and instead put those good things and the bad things in the blessed box because God is in the center of it all. My hope for 2023 has very little to do with how my life will unfold over the next 12 months. Rather, my hope is for you all, especially those who have a hard time relating to my current perspective, that you do not just know about grace but that you truly live a life of grace.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor Steve

Embracing Advent

December 5, 2022

Blessed Advent Grace Family,

This being my December newsletter article, I can imagine some may have been expecting a “Merry Christmas” greeting to start things off. That is certainly not a terribly inappropriate way to start this article, but I, for one, would rather embrace the season of Advent rather than be in a rush to get to Christmas. It is not an easy thing to do, what with just about every retail outlet putting out Christmas décor well before we even celebrate Thanksgiving. For me it creates a bit of Christmas fatigue and a real desire to just get it over with already. This is why I love Advent! For four Sundays I am reminded that the waiting, the anticipation of the Incarnation really brings back the joy of Christmas even as I am enveloped by the busyness of the season.

For many the Christmas season is filled with pressure. It is challenging to find the perfect gift for family and friends, then the pressure of shopping for those gifts, getting them wrapped, shipped to out of town family and friends, the holiday parties, making plans for Christmas Eve/Day, then the expense of it all. It is overwhelming. No wonder there is a sense of relief on December 26 for so many. It was not always that way and it certainly was not that way prior to the day of Jesus’ birth.

The stories of Jesus’ birth are filled with wonder and joy for those who were part of the story. Mary was told she would be giving birth to the Savior of the world. Joseph was also told to believe in his wife who was to give birth to a child that would change the world forever. The shepherds heard of Jesus’ birth and the Wise Men came from miles and miles away to see what that single star was all about. Few people were aware of the miracle, but all must have been filled with hope and joy. And those feelings grew and grew for the next several decades as the story continued to unfold. Waiting and anticipation has always been part of this story. It has never been rushed and there has never been a push to get it all over with.

Christmas fatigue is a modern day paradigm and one we have to really work to avoid. I think this is one of the great aspects of Advent. The stories bring us back to a different era and reset our clocks to build excitement and fight against fatigue. Advent reminds us of the story and reason we celebrate through the lens of everyone involved. It is the greatest story ever told and Jesus’ birth has the same impact today as it did more than 2,000 years ago. That is so powerful!

If you are already starting to feel that holiday fatigue, come to worship during Advent, and definitely come on Christmas Eve. Hear the stories. Feel the excitement, experience the joy of God with us. I promise it will be worth it!

Yours in Christ,
Pastor Steve 

Making the Facility Renewal Fund part of your regular giving pattern

October 4, 2022

Greetings Grace Family,

In January of 2019 we held our annual Congregational Meeting and one of the items we decided on as a congregation was to liquidate two stagnant funds and create funding for a long-term project utilizing the assets from the aforementioned funds. It was called the Facility Renewal Fund (FRF) and the plan was to add to the seed money over the course of the next five or so years and revitalize our aging campus and buildings. Then the Covid-19 pandemic happened. And like so many aspects of our life together, it had a major impact on the FRF.

At that point nobody knew how long the pandemic would last or if we would still be able to remain financially stable without the ability to hold our worship services in person. This really took away the potential momentum we may have begun in funding the FRF. With so much uncertainty we really just hoped and prayed that you all would remain faithful in your giving, which, praise God, you did! It seemed like a bit much to ask for everyone to give even more to a building fund when we didn’t know how long things would last or even if we would have the opportunity to replace things like a roof or a fresh coat of paint. But, now we are back in a place of stability and in light of recent repairs to one of the Preschool’s air conditioning units, I feel it is time to remind everyone what was voted on and approved as a capital campaign and try and recapture some of the initial inertia that was halted when the pandemic happened.

There are many reasons why the FRF has not become a part of your regular giving pattern. I have heard a number of them, and I understand the thinking behind each of those reasons. But, the failure of the Preschool air conditioner was a wake up call. We have had a pretty good run of good luck for quite a while, avoiding any really expensive repairs to our campus. With the A/C failure our luck ran out. The final cost was somewhere north of $10,000! And that was just for one of our A/C units. I believe we have at least three others that are as old or about as old as the one we had to replace. Thankfully we had more than enough to cover the cost in the FRF. Imagine if we did not have those funds that almost entirely came from the liquidated funds I mentioned at the beginning of my article. There would have been an immediate appeal to cover the cost, and I have very little doubt that you all would have responded faithfully to the appeal.

But here’s the thing, the FRF was not meant to stave off future emergency appeals when the inevitable failure of an A/C unit happens, or the roof starts leaking. It was meant to be a fund that allows us to proactively replace and repair most of what needs replacing or repair on our campus. Beyond the pragmatic aspects of this capital campaign, it is really a matter of good stewardship. God has blessed us with our property and buildings and all that has taken place at Grace. Think about how much Grace has meant to you and your family in your lives of faith. It’s all a gift from God and His generous grace. You have shown your appreciation for God’s generosity with over 60 years of faithful giving. But the home of our faith and years or decades of memories, is showing its age. In some cases, very dramatically, and noticeably. We have two options; wait until we are forced to fix/repair/replace our parking lot, aging and poorly functioning doors, old A/C units, chipped and peeling paint, sometimes leaky roof, water heaters, electrical panels, old plumbing, and ancient sound system when they inevitably fail and ask for significant amounts of money in a very short time to cover the cost.

Or we can, over a period of the next several years gradually grow the Facility Renewal Fund and be proactive in revitalizing our campus and buildings. The first option is one many churches choose out of necessity. And should this be our option we would be much less likely to do some of the more cosmetic upgrades such as paint, new doors, or new windows and only repair those things that keep us cool in the summer, warm in the winter, and other effects of weather strictly outside our buildings.

What might this look like for each of you? An additional $10 a month? $20? $50? $100? Only you can answer that question. But if all of us contribute something the FRF will in a short time swell with potential. And you have my word that what you give will be used. You Council and I are committed to being good stewards with your hard earned money. I realize topics such as stewardship and fundraising are not anyone’s favorite topics. But, the next time you’re on campus take a good look at what you see and think about how you have been blessed by being part of the Grace Family. And ask yourself what things will look like in five or ten years if we ignore the issue of an aging campus. We have the means and resources, so it is really a matter of want to.

On behalf of your Congregational Council, I hope you will join me providing a little tender loving care to the place that has given us so much.

Yours in Christ,

Pr. Steve

Prayer Matters – Part 2

September 5, 2022

Dear Siblings in Christ,

My newsletter article last month was a follow up from a sermon I preached in July about prayer. To recap, I wrote that prayer is very important and is about strengthening our relationship with God and with others and that prayer always ‘works’ as long as we have a proper understanding of its purpose. It is not a ‘get what we want from God’ exchange. This month I’d like to address another aspect of prayer that some people struggle with and that is how to pray.

Jesus’ disciples asked Jesus how they should pray. Imagine that! Faithful Jews confused about how to speak to God! Well, if you understand the context of the scripture and the religious practices of first century Jews it is not all that surprising. Their relationship with God was much different than our relationship with God, and we have Jesus to thank for that. Yet, still some folks may seem intimidated by the thought of wanting to get that prayer just right.

The truth is there isn’t a right or wrong way to pray, and there are many different ways to pray. Some say to think of prayer as a conversation with God as if you were speaking with a friend. That’s not a bad way to think about except God isn’t like any of your friends. He is the Holy and Mighty God, All Powerful, All mighty, All knowing Creator. Unlike a conversation with a friend there probably should be at least a slight amount of awe in speaking with God. That doesn’t mean, however, it needs to be formal or filled with elegant speech and fancy words. It can be a simple conversation in form and language but with the understanding that one is speaking with God.

If you’re one who likes to have a formula or pattern of prayer, look no further than Jesus’ instruction to pray based on the pattern of the Lord’s Prayer. Start with praising or recognizing God’s Godness, thank Him for His limitless blessings and mercy, forgiving our sins, and for being the source of all things. That helps put one in a good mindset to then lift up prayers for ourself and others. The intercessory prayers (prayers on behalf of others) is where the part in the Lord’s Prayer that speaks of His will being done comes in. Praying according to His will implies that God knows what He is doing and we trust Him enough to accept His will in our prayers.

Jesus’ instruction to His disciples doesn’t mean that’s the only way to pray. It very well can be a conversation with Him. Prayer isn’t just about asking God for what we want. If it is about building a relationship with Him as I stated, then simply sharing what’s on your mind can be thought of as prayer. Complaining to God about having a bad day can be prayer. Being angry with God and questioning Him is a form of prayer. As can a simple, “Thank You God’ on seeing a beautiful sunset. Music can also be thought of as a form of prayer. All of these forms of prayer can be found in the Psalms, which are in some way the thoughts and communications ancient people had with God.

Prayer can be spoken out loud as they are in group situations. You may want to check your surroundings before praying out loud when your alone. Individual prayer is generally done silently, and that’s just fine. God knows your thoughts before you think them so He doesn’t need to ‘hear’ you. You can sit or stand, kneel or any other position that is comfortable. It usually helps to have a quite space so as to not get distracted, but that’s not necessary. I know plenty of people that can tune out the noise around them and focus their attention on God. Praying while driving (eyes open!), exercising, showering, brushing one’s teeth, cooking dinner, gardening, or any other activity that doesn’t require singular focus are common. I pray while I walk around my neighborhood. That works for me.

The point is, there is no ‘how’ to pray. Just pray. God is always happy to hear from you! The really important thing is to make prayer a habit, something you do regularly and that takes some intentionality initially. If not done initially at a set time and place its hard to make it a habit. But once it becomes a habit, it becomes something that comes naturally and something you’ll miss if you go several days without praying. I love my time with God! Just me and Jesus spending quality time together. It is when I feel closest to God and that is always the best time of my day. Why wouldn’t it be? That’s it for now. I may have more to say next month, but I’ll pray about it first.

Yours in Christ,
Pastor Steve

Prayer Matters

August 8, 2022

Dear Siblings in Christ,

I recently preached a sermon on prayer (July 24) and almost as soon as I finished my sermon I started questioning whether or not what I said might have led to some misunderstanding about prayer. I could be wrong, but since I continued to think about for several days I feel like I need to clarify or say more about prayer.

First and foremost, prayer is a vital part of our faith. When Jesus spoke about prayer it is assumed that people of faith will and should pray and pray consistently and often. That is clear evidence that it is important. Part of the problem is that prayer, or the purpose of prayer is misunderstood. The most common misunderstanding is the expectation of our prayers. Prayer is not about getting the result we pray for. Generally speaking, it is relational.

If we expect or think that prayer is about getting the result we desire from God we will quickly become discouraged because we do not always get the results we hope for and that leads to the idea that prayer is well, pointless, and maybe God doesn’t love us or care about us as much as we think. There are so many reasons why always or regularly getting a desired result would in fact not be beneficial and I mentioned several of those reasons in my sermon. I know that seems counterintuitive but consider a very crude analogy of the parent child relationship. As parents we do not grant every request of our children even though we love them, more or less, unconditionally. Parents have their reasons for sometimes saying, “no”, or “not now”, as well as “yes!” A parent’s love is not measured by how often we say, “yes” nor is God’s love for us measured by His always saying, “yes” to us.

If prayer isn’t about getting the result we want, then what is the point? As I mentioned it is relational. Prayer doesn’t change God, it changes us. How so? Well, it doesn’t so much change us in the literal sense. It really deepens the connection we have with God and the more we pray the more connected we are to our Maker. To me, that sounds like a really good thing. Prayer is one of the most, if not the most, important relationship builder between us and God. And it’s not because God ‘forgets’ about us when we aren’t praying. He never ‘forgets’ about us and is in every sense near to us constantly. We are the ones that tend to forget that for a variety of reasons. And just as it is with our human relationships, regular conversation or communication strengthen our relationships. Are you not closer to the people in your life you regularly speak with than you are with a friend you only communicate with occasionally or every couple years? What kind of relationship do we have with God if we rarely ever communicate with Him, or only communicate with Him when we are in crisis or want something? Imagine a human relationship with that dynamic.

But, what about our prayers for others? I mean, we regularly say we will pray for people in crisis. If prayer isn’t going to change their circumstance, then what’s the point? Again, it is relational. When we are in any kind of crisis is when we feel most alone or helpless. Knowing someone is aware of your situation and cares enough to do something, even if it’s something as simple as a prayer, lessens to some degree the sense of loneliness. And involving God in that situation by praying lessens to some degree the sense of helplessness for many reasons. God is always in control and never helpless, and there is a chance that things will change because of our prayer. Wait, you said prayer isn’t about results! And you’ve said God doesn’t change His mind unless we pray. True on both accounts. But, I have said far more often that I can’t possibly know how God thinks or operates. From a strictly theological perspective it is impossible for God to change. Change implies something less than perfect and God is perfect, ergo God cannot change. But God doesn’t follow our theological ‘rules’. Prayer connects us with God, connects us with those we pray for and places God in the middle of our relationships with others. Does that sound pointless or useless? And who knows how our God will respond to our prayers? When it comes to prayer we have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Life is absolutely better when we pray. Jesus prayed often and taught His disciples to pray. And if someone asked you if you had a desire to feel more connected to God, or closer to God, would you say, “NO”? I have so much more to say, but this article is already a little long. I now know what next month’s article will be about. I hope I have clarified what I believe to be true about prayer, but just in case let me say it again.

Prayer matters and is a vital part of our faith. Until next month.

Yours in Christ,
Pastor Steve

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